My daughter once asked me, “How do you know when it’s for real?”
I thought about that briefly before answering, “When you’re with him, it feels like a big, comfy warm chair. It feels like being home.”
I have been fortunate enough to know this two times in my life. I hurt for those who have never known it. The first time, it changed me from an angry, cynical young single mother to someone quite different. So different, in fact, that people noticed. I smiled more. I wasn’t quite so rough around the edges. Because I had found someone who accepted me for who I was…and did not ask me to change. Who accepted my flaws and my faults, my daughter, my scars and my mistakes, without judging. I lost that love to cancer and I’m not gonna lie, it felt like half of me died. I floundered for a year, gliding through the motions, not feeling, trying to keep it together.
Now I find myself in that place again. By the grace of God, I am blessed to have found love and a best friend. We have come a long way in 16 years. Yea, we met 16 years ago, and aside from a brief break when I moved south, we are still together. And he has accepted me, my family, my flaws and scars and mistakes.
And my dog. Psht. Who am I kidding. He has stolen my dog’s heart. And mine. And I trust him with both. He has taken on my daughter as if she were his own. He has dropped the “step” when talking to anyone about her. Because in his heart, because she is mine, she is also his. 
He has been there through many losses in my life, stood by my side ready to
hold me up if I needed it, ready to help me get through anything life throws at
me. He grounds me. He is my safety, my strength, my everything. He doesn’t see himself as better than me, or
anyone, really, we are equals, working together toward the future, as it should
be. He is the common sense when my world spins out of control, the voice of
reason. He would lay down his life for me and mine. I know this without
question. He is one of the few people
who know me for who I really am. One of the few people who I can actually have
a “comfortable silence” with, without feeling the need to fill the space with
words. I know that, when he’s not here with me, he would be if I needed him, in
less than a heartbeat. He has encouraged me unfailingly to believe in myself, because
he believes in me.
In 16 years, we have had one argument. One. And it was because I got a little
schitzy in the midst of divorce and custody battles. He said what I needed to
hear. I got pissed. I got over it. (Note: I will not publicly admit he was
right. He’d never let me hear the end of it if I did. And I say that with the
utmost love and affection) One argument.
In 16 years. It doesn’t get any better
than that.Everyone should know this love, this comfort, at least once in their lives, and it’s not fair that some never do. This happiness, this contentment, this security and the knowledge that this, this is what matters in the end. I don’t know, and I don’t want to know, where I would be without this.
So here’s to you, my love, here’s to 16 years past and so very many more, God willing, together in happiness, in love, in life. You are….my better half, my hero, my light in the dark, my joy, my love.
Do you always trust your first initial feeling
Special knowledge holds true, bear believing
I turned around and the water was closing all around like a gloveLike the love that finally found me.Then I knew in the crystaline knowledge of youDrove me through the mountainsThrough the crystal like and clear water fountainDrove me like a magnetTo the seaTo the sea
How the faces of love have changed turning the pagesAnd I have changed, oh, but you, you remain ageless
I turned around and the water was closing all around like a gloveLike the love that finally found me.Then I knew in the crystaline knowledge of youDrove me though the mountainsThrough the crystal like and clear water fountainDrove me like a magnetTo the seaTo the sea
