Stop the Hate

Enough Already!

I try really hard not to delve into politics on social media. I don’t hide the fact that I consider myself a liberal. However, I do not force my views on anyone. I occasionally (very rarely, really) voice my opinion because I don’t care to start a shitshow on my feed or anywhere else. I have numerous conservative friends on my friends list. I want to believe that friendship transcends political views. As far as I am concerned, all of my friends, conservative and liberal, are fully entitled to their views and opinions. I will not debate them, will not tell them they’re wrong, right, or otherwise. I RESPECT their opinions. And I refuse to hate someone because of their views. It’s what makes the world, our different views, perspectives, opinions. What fun would it be if we all agreed?

What I do not condone is hatred. This has been blogged and reblogged again. It’s my turn.  Somehow, hatred of anyone different has gotten totally out of control. I won’t go into the race thing, I would be here all day and night. There’s just not enough coffee in the world for that. But homophobia. That’s a whole different thing. The bathroom b*llshit. Seriously.

I have known, am related to, many gays, some who are even *gasp* married.  I have, by virtue of being “Warren’s baby sister” had the pleasure of spending many weekends, along with my then 4 year old daughter,  at Cherry Grove when my brother worked as a chef there.  And I met some of the most wonderful people there. I have been to the Monster in the city. When my dad passed in ’94, it was December. We ended up having Christmas dinner at The Monster in the Village that year with the staff. My brother cooked. Roast suckling pig. My youngest went with us that time. She was 3.  And didn’t question Mrs. Santa.  When my brother passed, the party to celebrate the spectacular person he was, was there.  ‘S Wonderful, ‘s Marvelous. Indeed. (If you didn’t already know, the restaurant at the Grove was The Monster – Best. Lobster. Thermidore. Ever. When it closed, the owner, Joseph,  who was delightful, opened The Monster in the city, at Christopher and Grove in the village.) My brother’s community for lack of a better word, welcomed us, cried with us, reminisced with us, took us into their family and comforted us.  And here’s a shock. I used the bathroom there. And did not think twice about Omigod, what if a GAY GUY came in?? HA! There was only one bathroom.  I have been to events at my brother’s apartment. EVERYONE USED THE SAME BATHROOM. Even the cats.  This was in the early 2000’s. No one thought twice about it. My girls have been exposed to the LGBTQ world from a very young age. And I’m grateful for that. They learned acceptance. No one loved these two very lucky girls more than their uncle did. They never saw him as anything other than Uncle Warren. And rightfully so.

"Equality" I designed it, Katie wears it proudly. Because we believe in it.

I can remember my mother talking about Cherry Grove in the 40’s. As she put it, “they” were always there, they just stayed up in the dunes because It was so very taboo to be gay. Where the hell do you think they went to the bathroom then. .  I have been to Miss Fire Island. More than once.  I have pictures. And if I were to post any of them, if you saw ANY of these “drag queens” going into the ladies, believe me, you would not question it.

My questions here are: Do you really think that transgenders, gays, drag queens, have not been using the “other” restroom all along? Are you that naïve?  And…what the bloody hell is the difference. In my house, I have two bathrooms. I am not going to, should I have a group of people…PEOPLE…over, designate who is to use which. I am not going to dictate to you, if you identify with the opposite gender, where you should do anything.  It’s basic decency. Respect for differences. Accept it and move on. EVERYONE is entitled to basic civil rights. EVERYONE.  They are not a danger to your children. They are not pedophiles. They are human beings with the same damn rights as all of us. And to tell the truth, most that I have met, and there have been many, are the nicest, most decent humans I have ever met. Look past their preferences and see WHO THEY ARE. How they conduct their private lives is none. of your. damn. business. They have feelings, they have fears and dreams like anyone else.

And the bottom line is, aren’t there more important things we should be worrying about other than who uses which damn bathroom?  Like, I don’t know, hungry kids, homelessness, abuse….instead of wasting all this energy on hating, how about volunteering at a shelter? It’s just too much negativity. I’m not gonna sit here and go all peace, love and harmony on you but good God, why all the hate?? I personally, don’t give a damn who you love, or how you love them. Treat me with respect and kindness and I will do the same, no matter who you are.  And feel free to use my bathroom anytime.