Thursday, February 1, 2018

Let them go, let them soar...








There are many things I have learned as a mother: 
Guide your kids gently but let them find their own path.
Teach them compassion, but also teach them not to take crap from anyone. For any reason. 
Teach them to take care of themselves.
Let them know mistakes are allowed...provided they learn from them and don’t repeat them.
Let them know that they matter, that they have a voice.
Don’t force them to be what they’re not.
Choose your battles.
Accept them regardless of who they choose to be with.
Encourage them to do their best.
Know when to let go, know when to let them soar. 
And this is where we are, learning to let go.
In just a few too short weeks Katie and Josh will be moving. 6 hours away. 

My daughter has moved out twice. Both times within 20 minutes from home. I missed her being around every day but then...she was pretty much around every few days. Not so much when she’s 6 hours away. I’m not gonna lie, it’s  not gonna be easy. So here I am, torn between wanting to hold onto the little girl that she was and knowing that I have to let her go, to find her own way, to shine. And my heart is breaking just a little bit, from missing her already, and from knowing that she’s growing up, growing into her own life. 


And then my mind rolls back...let’s just say a few years...to the first time I left home (that time I tried to run away in two feet of snow when I was like 5 doesn’t count). Barely 19, hating my life, I moved three thousand miles away. I’m sure my mothers reaction (“Don’t think you’re moving back to THIS house”), I realize now, was borne of hurt. At 19, I didn’t much care, my reaction to her reaction was something along the lines of “why would I want to”.  Oh if only we knew then what was to come. Story for another day.  The point was, I will not be that person. As much as I will miss this kid (and Josh, I spose, too), I know that she feels trapped on this island, I know that the mountains have called to her. I too have heard that call. The time is not right yet for me. 
It is now for Katie, my baby, my heart, your time has come. The time for you to make your life in a place where you will be happy, where you can breathe and look out your windows and see that reminder that there is so much more out there, and be humbled but happy. I will miss so much of what makes us the incredible team that we are. The city weekends, the road trips, sharing the kitchen, you do dinner, I’ll do dessert, the Christmas trees, the damn lights, and shopping, the hugs, the wordless conversations, the kid that knows me better than I know myself. I will take comfort in knowing that this is right for you, and in knowing that I will always, always be with you in some way. I will be happy for the excitement of your first “real” home. I will count the days until our first visit and I will always be your Lorelei no matter the distance. And I will never, never tell you you can’t come home. 




So fly, my baby, my Rory, soar and live the best life you possibly can. My advice to you: 
Be happy
Make this new place your home
Never second guess if it feels right
No regrets
And know that all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. 


So soon your time will come. Let it out while you're still young. 
May all your dreams come true for someone like you. 
So soon your time will come. Let it out while you're still young. 
May all your dreams come true, so happy for you

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