Another Mothers Day

And another Mother’s Day comes around.  This year, I don’t celebrate me (because, you know, Ma) , I celebrate the two beautiful girls who made me Ma. 

Stacie Anne, who has, herself, four awesome kids that I adore, for 38 years has been a source of love, angst, heartbreak and pride. Mostly love and pride.

 For all the turmoil and anger between us over the years, it always to comes back to this. She is my blood, my heart, my baybeegirl. No matter what, this remains truth. I’ve finally figured it out somewhat…the anger over the years. She is too much of me, too much like me.

As I was with my mother, rebellious, determined to make her own mistakes but hopefully to learn from them.  History repeats, and that sucks sometimes.  I have snapshot memories, so many good times with her, times when she held me up, times when she was my only reason to go on. 

I love the little girl that she was, I have deeper love and respect for the woman she has become, for the trials and tribulations that she has and is still dealing with.

A lesser woman would have given up, but not my girl, we are not quitters. We are strong, we are stubborn, and we are too determined to ever fail. We will come out on top. It may take time, but we always rise again.  So to Sissy, I say Happy Mother’s day, pumpkin, and thank you for being my first reason to celebrate. My love to you always <3

And then there is  Lianna Caitlin. The girl who was never Lianna to anyone aside from her grandmother and her fourth grade teacher.  And Lauren.

My Katie.  Another determined, stubborn  kid, rebellious to a lesser degree. The kid who has overcome emotional stress and turmoil that I would never have wished on any kid.  The girl  who wants to adopt every puppy, feed every homeless person, save everyone from every slight. And I say that with utmost admiration. She is, admittedly, spoiled. She will tell you that. But she is also so very giving and kind. 

She has had a rather bendy path to get to where she is, but she has learned along the way, and I think she’s happy where she is. She knows me sometimes better than I know myself.  She is a softer version of her sister, more sure of herself.  It’s taken awhile for her to get that way but she’s a strong, confident young lady and my other source of pride and joy. And heartbreak and angst and worry. But I guess that comes with the territory. Have kids, commit to a life of worry.  And love and laughter and tears and comfort.
 My Katie, my love to you too, always <3
These girls, these angels in my life, have supported me, loved me unconditionally even when they hated me, gotten me through times when I wanted to just quit. Somehow, their sentiments every year paint me as a role model,  a hero, the person they want most to be like. I never saw it that way. I see it as what I was meant to do, what it has been my honour to do,  raise these beautiful girls to stand their ground, to be the best they can, to survive and to soar. And to do it with love no matter what. My love for them both is stronger than any anger, any harsh words, any force that tries to break us, and for them, I celebrate this Mother’s Day because without them, I would not be.

"But you are never all alone

Because I will always

Always love you" 

In My Arms ~Plumb

Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curly cues
Your contagious smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight

Knowing clouds will raise up
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Story books full of fairy tales
Kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies

Knowing clouds will raise up
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you

Clouds will raise up
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms